Hiring the right candidate for a job is often a complex challenge for any business.
Will this person be the right fit? Can I trust this person will help lead this company toward growth? Will they potentially sexually harass another employee resulting in negative publicity and a PR nightmare? This article wants to help mitigate such risk by weeding out individuals early in the hiring process who may not possess the traits that meet your organization's values.
We have all heard the generic interview templates most companies use when hiring. Tell me about yourself, what makes you the right fit, tell me about a challenge you've overcome? Nothing is revealed in the answers, nothing tangible that will let you know who you are really talking to. The set of questions in this article is scientifically proven to pull from the individual the soul of who a person is behind closed doors. A predator, maybe? A social delinquent, likely? But most importantly, would this person get drunk with the team at the Friday Happy Hour and possibly do something the rest of the office can talk about the following week?
Be prepared as you continue, as these questions are not new to the ear. Most have been pulled from hiring practices conducted in the 1970s and 80s. Some have been modified to fit with the current civil landscape. If you are interested read on.
1) Describe to me a toxic individual in the workplace and are you one?
2) Do you have family and are any of them fuck ups?
Yes = good, knows what it’s like to be around fuck ups, and can probably be trusted.
No = they’re lying, everyone has fuck ups in their family, cannot be trusted.
3) Have you ever been under investigation? If yes, for what and what lie got you out of it?
4a) (If male) Do you frequent gentlemen clubs?
Yes = good, can appreciate nice tail. Move them up in the pile.
No = not good, can only appreciate nice men's tails. This will result in men feeling unsafe to use the company showers. Equaling less gym time, and less sports played at lunch. This will diminish that sense of team and comradery you desire amongst the staff. You will also see less "friendliness" amongst male and female employees as men will be unable to shower to wash off the perfume smell before going home to their wives, which again, diminishes motivation and productivity.
4b) (If female) What is your stance on gigolos, and have you ever been with one?
No = not good, may file an EO complaint within first six months, tread lightly when continuing.
5) How often do you find yourself always doing the talking and everyone else always listening?
If answer is anything other than “hardly ever” then immediately disqualify. The explanation as to why is too long for this publication.
6) What’s your income to debt ratio?
If it’s good, disqualify. Everyone knows any successful business or person has large debt to income ratio. Gotta borrow money to make money.
7) Do you consider yourself an influencer? What is your brand and how do you build it?
Set-up questions designed to see if that person would spend more time on their phone than doing actual work. Also, predicts if the candidate will be at high risk of exposing the company on social media for culture climate or out-of-context workplace practices.
8) As a leader, can you influence young employees new to the firm?
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